GOD,
THE PERFECT MATCHMAKER
(Genesis 2:18;
Genesis 2:23-24)
“Now the Lord
God said, it is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be
alone; I will make him a helper meet
(suitable, adapted, complimentary) for him” (Genesis 2:18).
-Amplified Bible.
“Then the LORD God said, “It
is not good for the man to live alone, I
will make a suitable companion to help him” (Gen 2:18) .
–Good News Translation.
“The Lord God
said, “It isn’t good for the man to live alone. I will make a suitable partner for him” (Gen. 2:18)
-Contemporary English Version.
INTRODUCTION
Choices that we are faced with in life are
innumerable. Yet we are never spared the consequences of our choices no
matter the sincerity or naivety of our motive when such choices are made. This
is an inevitable reality of life – particularly in the area of marriage.
Marriage is divine and should be treated
so. God identified the need for man to marry (Genesis 2:18). It was God who made the choice! It is
unfortunate that many people today decide to play God. They choose whom to marry by
themselves giving God no chance to have a say! Later in life, they regret this
folly (Joshua 23:12-13).
God took the initiative to institute marriage
without man’s knowledge. While the man was busy here and there, God was busy
thinking of how to make his life better and more meaningful. He knew exactly
what the man needed even though the man seemed unaware of his needs. That’s
exactly how God works in the life of His children today.
The
fact that it was God Himself that took the initiative to get a helpmeet for
Adam and, thereby, instituted marriage makes it unwise for anyone to embark on
the marital journey without consulting God. Today, many Christians run into a
barbwire martially because the foundation was not solidly laid. If you
rush into marriage, you will also rush out of it.
1. DEMYSTIFYING MARRIAGE
What is marriage? What does it involve?
Marriage is, for all intent and purpose, the oldest
institution, created by God Himself for mankind. It is the legal union of a mature
man and a mature woman, which enables them to live together as husband and
wife. The first marriage was
conducted by God Himself in the Garden of Eden.
God Himself is interested in marriage because He has His choice of
life-partner for every individual. He is the best and only accurate matchmaker.
Only
God knows the ideal person, the most compatible partner for every life. He knows
the most suitable helpmeet that will complement an individual and help such to
fulfill his/her God-oriented goals and aspirations (Genesis 2:20-25).
To find or
be the best helpmeet for somebody is not what any of us can determine
ourselves. Why? Because of inexperience. Every search for a marriage partner
must have its origin in GOD and His direction. We need divine
help and direction in this matter because we are embarking on a journey
from the known to the unknown. A journey with far-reaching consequences!
2. DESIRING
GOD’S CHOICE (Ecclesiastes
4:9-10)
Choice
of a God-given marriage partner must begin with prayers years before the act is
to take place. It must start with the parents who must always remember to take the
issue of their children’s choice in marriage to GOD in prayer. As you enter
into your teens, you need to be taught on how to pray to God about the will of
God in marriage. No amount of prayer can be too much in trying to make marital choices
for a number of reasons. Marriage is for life.
Once
you make a choice and it is solemnized, it becomes a binding contract for life.
Marriage has no reverse gear and that is why your choice must be
prayerfully and scripturally made. The issue of compatibility is a futuristic
issue which only GOD knows the outcome of.
According
to J.R. Muller in one of his sermons
explains that:
“Before
marriage, young people are on their good behaviour. They do not exhibit their
infirmities. Selfishness is hidden under the garments of courtesy and
gallantry. Each forgets SELF – in
romantic devotion to the other. The voice is softened and make tender and even
tremulous. Everything that would make an unfavourable impression is
scrupulously put under look lock and key. So there is harmony of no ordinary sweetness made by the two young
lives, unvexed by one discordant note. There may have been no intention on the part
of either, to deceive the other in the smallest matter, or to cloak the
smallest infirmity”.
3.
DISCERNING DIVINE GUIDANCE
(Psalm 32:8; Romans 8:5-8; John 10:27)
Marital journey begins with the desire or a
sense of need in an individual for a partner with whom to share life in an
intimate way. The desire is GOD-created and it manifests naturally as a person
matures. As this desire is taken to GOD in prayer, GOD communicates with our
hearts in a way to lead us to His perfect choice of partner. He has
assured us in Psalm 32:8 that “I
will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide
thee with mine eye”.
It is
pertinent to state however that those who are strangers to God’s plan of
salvation cannot easily perceive God’s choice for them in marriage includes
genuine repentance from sin and turning to God for His salvation, accepting
Jesus Christ as Lord and saviour, as well as making a firm decision to obey God
in all arrears of life. This is the
bedrock of all other decisions in life. It is on the basis of new life in Christ that
one seeks God for His choice of a life partner.
God
reveals this through:
a)
A strong impression in the
heart inspired by the Spirit of God (Romans 8:14)
b)
Audible voice of God (I
Samuel 3:1-4; Acts 8:26-29)
c)
Deep love, not lust, pity or
admiration – for the individual (I Samuel 18:1)
d)
Dreams, visions and
revelations – which must not run contrary to God’s word (Acts 10:9-13; 19-20)
e)
Peace in the heart
concerning perceived choice (Psalm 119:165)
As a
child of GOD, you should be aware of the channel GOD often uses to communicate
with you. Christ said, “My sheep hear my voice and I know them and
they follow me” (John 10:27). You should know that whatever medium God often
uses will
not contradict His extant written word. Any revelation one perceives
that contradicts the scriptures must be rejected. Again, any assumed revelation, dream or
suggestion that causes panic, hurry or lack of peace in your heart must be
rejected.
4. DOGDING
PITFALLS AND SNARES
As a believer who seeks the
will of God in choosing a life partner, you must avoid certain common pitfalls which can jeopardize your
choice.
a)
You must not walk by sight.
Using beauty, material possession, tribe, race, secular position or wealth of a
family to make a choice of a life partner may be dangerous (I Samuel 17:7).
Being rich in earthly things does not guarantee the possession of a good heart,
which makes a good home.
b)
You must avoid ‘goading’ God. Don’t give
specifications to God about what manner of person He must provide. Learn to
leave everything in His hands. Nobody can be wiser than God in these matters
because He is omniscient (Proverbs 3:5).
c)
Avoid overdependence on
dreams because dreams can be manipulated by Satan to deceive. Excessive
dependence on dreams and pre-empting God can lead to confusion (Ezekiel 14:3).
d)
You must refuse to succumb
to suggestions from friends, relations or even mentors. Whatever signs,
insights or revelations anyone has concerning your choice of marriage partner,
be sure you listen to the leading of the Spirit of God yourself (Psalm 118:8;
II Corinthians 6:14).
e)
Don’t be deceived. That a
person attends church regularly does not make him/her a believer. You must be
wary of whatever ‘leading’ or
feeling that seeks to yoke you with someone who doesn’t have a sound testimony
of conversion and evidence of transformation of life.
f)
God will never lead you into
a homosexual relationship. Marriage, from the beginning, has a purpose in the
plan of God to populate the earth. Sex
before marriage is a sin against God.
g)
You are not expected to
visit your fiancée alone, especially in the night (when you are preparing for
marriage).
h)
It is an evil practice for
any child of God in GOFAMINT to visit the relatives of the person he/she wants
to marry to be cooking or washing clothes there. The church frowns at the act.
It is evil, bad and unscriptural.
5. MY CHOICE, MY DESTINY (Joshua
23:12-13)
Whatever
one chooses determines his/her destiny. Your choice can make or mar your life. That
is why it is very imperative for a real, born again and spirit-filled Christian
to actually prepare well. A solid preparation makes marriage stable and stand. Marriage
is divine and should be treated so. It is very disheartening today that many
people decide to play God. (Joshua
23:12-13). Marriage is like a
journey. You begin to think about a journey when the desire first comes into
your heart. Marriage is the hub of human life. Marriage is the bedrock of life.
The desire to marry is legitimate, proper and scriptural. The institution of
marriage is not a programme of man.
Pastor
W.F. Kumuyi in his book, GOD’S GUIDANCE IN MAARIAGE, Page 106
says “The place of God’s word in our discovering the will of God in marriage
cannot be over emphasized. Israel
was guided by a pillar of fire and cloud; believers are guided by the WORD and the SPIRIT”.
Pastor S.M. Leigh in his book, MARRIAGE MEANT TO BE ENJOYED, Page 7 says: “Any man today may feel the need for a partner, yet he
should still turn to God for leadership and guidance concerning whom to choose,
and when to choose”.
Akolawole
Ayorinde in
his book, SEX AND THE TEENAGERS puts it this way: “Christian sisters should not readily become cheap sex materials to be
used and thrown away”. The most precious jewel a girl has is her body.
Professor
Kayode Adesogan in his 504-page book, CHRISTIAN
MARRIAGE, page 4 says: “An irresponsible attitude to marriage invariably
leads to poor husband and wife relationship as well as fractured parent and
children relationship”.
Take a wise
decision and do not allow your destiny to be axed and destroyed! The ball is in
your court because your choice is your destiny.
CONCLUSION
The onus
whether you are fit for heaven lies on you. Do not allow your decision to mar
your life. Your choice is your destiny. Do not be deceived, let God speak to
you directly about the person to marry in life because marriage has no reverse gear.
