CONTENDING
FORCES AGAINST THE HOME
INTRODUCTION
Before
going into the above topic, it is pertinent to define some terms so that we can
understand the topic better. Let us start with the word contend.
To contend means to compete against someone. It may also mean to deal with problems or
difficulties, especially in order to achieve something. The word home means a place where you live, a
building for living in or where something started. In the context of
this topic under discussion, family will be used interchangeably
with home.
A family
is a
group of people who live together and are related to one another,
usually consisting of parents and children.
There are
many forces contending with the home or family which no one can deny the
effects in his or her family in one way or the other. As at now, many families
are still battling with some of these forces till date. It is believed that if
these forces are identified and with effective prayer on them, the solutions to
overcome such problems will eventually come.
There are
seven points in our text, (Eph 6:11-18)
which we must handle with all seriousness in order to be able to overcome the
forces that are contending against families.
However, let us quickly look at some of these forces:
1.
The background of the couple:
The foundation of any marriage, if based on any other thing than Christ and
genuine love may witness crisis which may tear apart the marriage. Problems
begin to happen after marriage when a rich brother marries a lady without
seeking God’s face but had gone ahead to marry her for beauty and not love. “Favour
is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who feareth the Lord, she shall
be praised” (Prov. 31:30). Christian
brothers are enjoined to marry sisters who are born again and have the fear of
God.
2.
Natural and spiritual
immaturity: It has been discovered that
the rate of divorce was more pronounced against young ladies who married
between 14-19 years of age. Also,
there is the problem of leading to the altar without any spiritual maturity to
manage the home as established in the Bible. Therefore, the home, due to
immaturity, may witness series of argument on food, money clothes for the children and et cetera. Pastors are enjoined to allow a would-be couple to be
well grounded in the Lord and physically matured before agreeing to join them
together in a holy wedlock.
3.
Sexual relationship:
Sexual demand by the man without consideration to the lady even when she is
tired as a result of pressure of work or when she is ill is one major crisis in
many homes. On the other hand, some
married women in the Christian homes invite trouble because they deliberately
refuse their husband to have anything to do with them until they are planning
to have their next baby. Some ladies may want to punish their husband for not
buying New Year dresses for them or for not helping them to the market with the
car to buy food stuffs and many more. Sexual relationship between husband and
wife after marriage is not a sin. However, the demand for it should be on
common understanding between the couple.
4.
Child spacing and hot demand
for male children: Some men may desire to have
four children and each child should arrive every year. The health of the wife
may not stand such an arrangement due to her previous experience during child
birth and the type of food the husband can afford to provide for her body needs
due to his financial capacity. Such issues could be handled maturely with the
two of them looking at the objectivity, the merits and demerits of the case.
Also, rearing of children (male and
female) is the making of the two. “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord,
and the fruit of the womb is the reward. As arrows are in the hand of mighty
man, so are the children of one’s youth” (Psalm 127:3-4).
5.
Delay in rearing of children: Children of God must have a high hope that
every married couple would have their children from God no matter the little
delay because children are God’s heritage. In a family where unbelief is set
in, the husband and wife may begin to blame one another which may lead to
disturbing arguments between them. All those looking unto God for the fruits of
the womb will be fruitful in Jesus’ name. Bible says “No one shall suffer
miscarriage or be barren in your land; I will fulfill the number of your days”.
“Sing o barren. You who have not laboured with child! For more are the children
of the desolate than the children of the married woman”, says the Lord (Isaiah
54:1). “For His anger is but for a
moment. His favour is for life; weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh
in the morning” (Psalm 30:5). Never point accusing fingers at one
another, but go to the Lord with genuine faith and pray away your problems. By
the grace of the Lord, you shall be highly favoured in all areas of human and
spiritual needs in Jesus’ name.
6.
Ineffective family altar:
Many problems are solved in a family where the family altar is very much
effective. It is the duty of every member of a family to come together both in
the morning and evening to study the word of God and even pray together. The
family that prays together stays together. Some children get saved
during the family altar. It is the duty of a responsible husband to jealousy
and painstakingly guides his wife and children and prepares them to meet their
saviour. He should encourage and challenge them to serve the master and make
heaven. “For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and losses
his soul” (Mark 8:36). You make them losers if you make every provision
for them but you do not encourage them to live for Jesus.
7.
Inability of the father to
provide for the home: There are various needs of
the home which include: food, shelter,
education, cloth etc. In a situation where a husband could not provide
these basic needs of the family, there can be quarrel. Husband should not make
his wife feel like a complete widow while he is still alive. A widow has no
husband to depend on to meet the needs. Even when she earns, it is to assist you
in performing your duties and her contribution should be appreciated (I Timothy 5:8).
8.
Unnecessary interference of
the ‘third person’: Due to ignorance or
spiritual immaturity, we still find some Christian brothers who still put their
wives under the control and dictates of their parents, forgetting that he made
a covenant with God that he will love his wife and forget other people. “Therefore
shall a man leave his father and his mother and shall cleave unto his wife; and
they shall be one flesh” (Genesis
2:24). Christian brothers should cleave to their God-given wives only and
take decisions best for their homes and not allow any relation to intrude in
the affairs of their homes. However,
this does not means that couples should not take good care of their parents and
relations.
9.
Devil’s ploy to break the
home: The word ploy
means tactic, strategy or gimmick.
Satan is a destroyer. He never loves anything which is good. He could use
many things to cause confusion in the Christian homes no matter how prayerful.
Therefore, all married couples must be careful and watch any event in their
family circle and pray away devil, his agents and his representatives’ tricks.
10.Curses: Some frequent troubles in
the home could be attributed to family curses imposed on the young couple long
ago that is now causing series of frictions just after the wedding. When young
couples are forced to stay apart in frictional separation few years after their
wedding, curses imposed on them may be at work to wreck havoc on their future
and the good intention of God. In order that the curses might be removed, the
couple should approach a minister of God to conduct a deliverance ministration
for them and break the yoke of all the curses with God’s anointing (Isaiah 10:27; Obadiah 1:17).
11.Laziness on both parties: A lazy husband will not be
able to provide for the needs of the family as expected. Also, some ladies are
exceptionally lazy and carefree. They wake up late from bed in the morning and
prepare food for the family always late. The sitting room and everywhere in the
home are left untidy. Dirty clothes are soaked many days in the bathroom basins
unwashed, plates used the previous day are there unwashed et cetera. A visitor to such home is welcomed by the offensive odour and stench oozing out of the toilets and bathroom. However, the outward
appearance of people always betrays what they are at home. A brother having
such a lazy lady as wife should try to correct her in love. He should assist her where necessary and tell
her the adverse effects of her lazy attitudes.
12.Pride: Many unbelievers because of
pride have been driven out of their matrimonial homes. The pride of beauty, money, education, position etc
should not be a stumbling block in the life and in the home of any child of God (man or woman). Remember that Vashti
lost her matrimonial dignity because of the sin of pride. Christians should
understand the adverse effects of pride and never fall into its snare (Proverbs 8:13; Proverbs 14:3).
13.Secret sins and unfaithfulness: It is quite unfortunate to
hear that some so called Christians still commit secret sins. These range from
the sins of adultery, drunkenness,
smoking, idolatry, membership of secret cults etc. These have caused the
family the joy, progress and peace of God
ordained by the Lord for such homes. Children of God are to call on the
name of Jesus Christ to save them from falsehood and deceit.
CONCLUSION
There are
still many other contending forces against the home which are not mentioned
above. To overcome any of these forces, the home yields to the pieces of advice
given by the Apostle Paul in his epistle to the Ephesians’ brethren in Ephesians 6:11-18.
Every child
of God is to abide by the SEVEN important things mentioned in
the passage. They are truth, righteousness, gospel of peace,
faith, salvation, the word of God and
prayer.
May the Lord keep our homes (amen).
“If ye know all these things, happy (blessed) are
ye if ye do them”
– John
13:17.
PREPARED
AND DELIVERED BY PASTOR BELLO
BABATUNDE
